sometime ago we wrote a blog about how prayer became my trigger. today I want to teach about triggers and how we ca avoid the ill effects of them
I guess we can star with the definition of the word trigger.
Trigger: anything, as an act or event, that serves as a stimulus and initiates or precipitates a reaction or series of reactions. (http://dictionary.reference.com/)
it is amazing how the Aurthur of the definition first choice of words is Anything, for a trigger can come the form anything. It can be a song, a sent, a color. a certain phrase or saying and or a particular flavor almost anything can be a trigger.
as I study the workings of the brain and the way people think in my psychology class I learn that many factors play in the role on how one will responded to his or her trigger. here is an example of what I mean two girls raised by the same man this mans always wore the same Cologne. the man beats one girl all the time and rapes the other girl almost nightly . he is reported and locked up for both acts of abuse on thees girl . now as grown women when ever one daughter smells the sent of the fathers Cologne she becomes very violent and the other girls when ever she smells the sent becomes very afraid .Which girl has which response. you would think the one that is beaten is the violent one and the one that is raped is afraid. well it is toe reversed . see the one that was raped never fought back until she got up the nerve to report him to her this was her why of fighting back so now when the trigger of his sent is around she feels safety in the fight or anger. for the one who was beaten she always fought back with no avail, it was the marks on her body that caused her sister to report her dad so for the sister that was beaten when she smell the sent so was afraid that the dad was some how coming to beat her.
many of of us have triggers in our lives some not all bad. there could be a certain cake that triggers a memory of your mom or your grandma, a song that reminds you of your wedding day. so not all triggers or bad . but how do we avoid living in the trigger pulled moment.
when I look at the word trigger the gun is the first thing that comes into play . when I hold a gun in my hand if I want to use it I have to know all the workings of that gun where to put the bullets, what kinds of bullets are needed for that gun where the trigger is and how to hold the gun and pull the trigger to adequately hit my target. many time innocent people are killed by a stray bullet that went in the wrong direction or the aim was off by the one who pulled the trigger. there is a saying guns don't kill people people kill people. the truth of the matter is my gun can be filled with bullets but i I don't ever pulled the trigger no one will get hurt.
we react to things of our past and never realize that we are just pulling on triggers and we think that we are the only ones who feel the effects of that pull, believe the secret is still just our own.
it may be true that everyone may not know your story but it may not mean that they don't feel the effects of your pain lets look back at the two sisters know grown women with children of their own how do you think the raised their children .one who is violent at times and locks her self away feeling ashamed and dirty teaching them to always fight ,
another who is afraid and fearful. never disciplines her children. the children don't learn the story of the sisters until they themselves go to therapy and in a family session they learn the real reason why the are so angry .
I have learned to first identify the thing or the root of the thing that is causing me to hate. fight, distrust. etc..
then deal with the emotion. as it comes and then begin to practice a different response. writing .crying. walking it off. praying. what you choose remember this practice makes perfect.
be better , be healed be blessed
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